How many times have you seen a random person in a cafe, all by themselves, either reading a book, working on their laptop, or simply just enjoying a cup of coffee, lost in their thoughts? How many times have you immediately assumed they are lonely? One day you are on a trek or a bonfire camp with your friends, where you came across another such person, who is all by themselves, and you may assume the same thing about them.
Now, how many times have you thought about it; like actually thought about it? Maybe there are people around you who simply enjoy their own company and prefer spending time in solace. Maybe they are not really lonely. Perhaps, you are one of those kind of people, or you know someone with that kind of bravery.
Either way, I think the meaning of being alone is completely distorted in most people’s mind. Being alone is not when you are absolutely devoid of relationships and friends. It is not being left alone. It is simply a matter of choice. It is when you have learnt to accomplish the most difficult and distressful thing in the whole world.
It is when you learn to find solace and enjoy its company. Enjoy your own company, which not many people can do without tearing their own mind to shreds.
Being alone is like meditation, when you realize, self-discover, self-evaluate, and get to know yourself. When all your senses and feelings come alive, and start to tell you things about you and the world, that you never knew. It’s finding yourself.
Everyday that you wake up and see the real world, meet new people, and visit old places, your senses and the reality get smudged with some smoke, some fresh air. At the end of the day, when you spend time all by yourself, you filter out all the smoke from the fresh, clean air and cleanse yourself again.
That’s what being alone is. It’s a masterpiece. It’s hard to achieve. It’s loving yourself; it is not being scared of spending time with yourself and getting to know yourself. It’s connecting with yourself and loving your flaws.
A person who loves spending time alone is not a coward or a lonely introvert. That person is indeed the bravest of all. Brave enough to bear their own thoughts and accept them without dodging with the company of others.
If you embrace your solace and your own space, you embrace your good qualities and flaws both. Then no matter what others say, you will always know yourself and love yourself, and you wouldn’t need to depend on others to make you feel loved.
Once you get comfortable with your own mess, silence and all the paradox, you’ll accomplish the hardest thing in the universe. You will love yourself.